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10. Maybe this guy was just trying to make a point… or a hundred. A 42-year-old man in northern India had 40 knives surgically removed from his stomach after he swallowed them over a two-month period. Many of those knives had blades of up to 7 inches. The man is actually a police officer who was apparently suffering from a mental issue. I would presume that to be a dead-on diagnosis. He told doctors he didn’t really know why he did it, but when he got the urge, he would down a knife with a glass of water. I really don’t see this diet catching on.
9. Over in the U.K., where they claim to lead normal lives, a 76-year-old woman went to her doctor after complaining of pain, diarrhea and weight loss. A CT scan reveal a writing pen was lodged in her stomach. She explained that 25 years earlier, she used a felt-tip pen to poke at her tonsils while looking at them in a mirror and accidentally lost her footing, thus swallowing the pen……Well, doesn’t everyone stab at the back of their throats with pointy objects? Docs were able to remove the pen during surgery, and, amazingly, that pen that had been sloshing around in stomach acid for a quarter century… still worked!! Now that’s one HELL of a pen!! I see a great marketing campaign with this one.
8. Ok…. Now let’s switch over to those normal people in Australia. Hey, who amongst us hasn’t gotten drunk and done something really stupid. Personally, I have not. … uhhh, yeah… But a 38-year-old man, after drinking several bottles of beer, got the munchies…. So he ate one of those bottles, label and all. Then he went to bed… and got sick. Imagine that. He was taken to the hospital and treated for being stupid.
7. A woman in Ghana thinks she accidentally ate some of a man’s penis. Hmmmm….. I don’t really know which part of that to explain first. But I’ll try. Akousa was out dining with her sister and ordered a traditional dish of Tuo zafi, which is a soupy, ricey-type dish that apparently can be served with meat. After eating most of the dish, Akousa discovered at the bottom of the bowl what appeared to be a crispy-looking penis. She stopped eating. Lab tests could neither confirm nor deny the thing was a man’s penis. Also, no one, to our knowledge, reported losing a penis.
6. And then there are those normal people in the United States. During a lovers’ argument in Blue Springs, Missouri, the boyfriend demanded to see his girlfriend’s cell phone. But the 24-year-old woman wasn’t about to give it up. So she put it in her mouth… and swallowed it. The phone got stuck in her throat and she had to be taken to the hospital. She recovered. Now, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say… she might have been hiding something on that phone.
5. I guess you could consider this one a reverse-swallowing incident. In China, a 13-year-old who helped out at a car repair shop was in bad shape after two adult workers inserted an air hose nozzle into his rectum and turned it on. The boy was in critical condition when he was taken to the hospital. He was suffering from numerous puncture wounds to his intestines, severe internal bleeding and multiple organ failure. The men who did this to him said it was done as a joke. Those idiots were arrested.
4. A woman preparing to board a plane in South Korea was told to either drink the liquid she was carrying or throw it away. She chose to drink it… and hold it in her mouth. Wary guards watched as she did not swallow it and made her spit it out. To their amazement, the woman spit out liquid with a bunch of tadpoles and tiny frogs in it. She told guards a friend gave them to her and she didn’t want to throw them away.
3. Wayne and his wife, of Helena, Montana, left their Golden Retriever Sundance in the car while they dined heartily during their vacation to Colorado. But Sundance was hungry too… so he ate the 5 $100 bills the couple had left in the car. The couple realized what had happened when they got back in the car and discovered half of one of the bills. So Wayne waited for nature to call and then began the wonderful process of going through Sundance’s poo to collect the eaten bills. He was finally able to recover 3 of the 5 bills, wash them, tape them together, and turn them into the bank for a check. I’m pretty sure they’ll leave a good meal with Sundance next time.
2. It was a huge event for 80-year-old Miriam Tucker of Florida. Champagne filled 400 glasses at the charity event and each glass had a cubic zirconia in it… all except one, which had a $5,000 diamond in it. Miriam was having such a grand time that she accidentally swallowed the object in her glass. She was embarrassed, but realized her chances of having downed the actual big prize was 1 in 400. There was just no way. But au contraire, Mary Lou. Because when organizers announced that Miriam held the winning glass with the big prize, she had to confess what she had done. She was taken immediately to a hospital, but, oddly, diamonds don’t show up on x-rays. Fortunately, she had a colonoscopy planned for the very next day, so she gave her doc instructions to be on the lookout for something sparkling… which is exactly what I tell ‘em when I go in for a colonoscopy. Sure enough, the doc found it and gave it to Miriam. Ya know, it’s just not every day you can pull a diamond out of your ass.
1. Lamont Cathey was jailed for theft in Chicago. And he started to crack when his plea deal fell through. So he started eating things, like screws, needles, thumbtacks. He was even consuming long pieces of metal and strips of leather from his restraints. He ate pieces of a hospital bed, a security camera and parts of a medical device. He has been hospitalized more than 2 dozen times, had several operations to remove things from his stomach and has cost the county jail more than a million dollars in medical care. I’ve heard jail food really sucks, but if you’re eatin screw like pizza rolls…. It must be really bad.
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